I HATE SMALL DOGS!!!

small-dog.jpg

OK, so I hate small dogs! I’ve hated them ever since I was viciously attacked by a rabid Jack Russel as a child. The memory of its snapping, drooling mouth wrapped around my Luke Skywalker action figure still smarts. As did my backside after my Aunty Joan belted me for using “the force” to boot the little F****r down the garden path.

I hate small dogs because they crap on the pavements, yap at your ankles and trip you up when you’re running for the bus. I hate them because according to Darwinian theory they should be overrun and eaten by rats, cats and automobiles. I hate them because they are usually owned by people with emotional issues, misanthropes who like to pretend their dogs are real people. I hate them because they are not proper dogs! So why didn’t anyone tell me before I moved here that New York is a Mecca for miniature canines!

The dog owners of New York love their dogs in a rather excessive way. Kind of like the Hindu reverence for the cow, but without the religion and with more accessories. Most would step over a homeless guy to check on the health of his dog. The dog is king, queen, well, God, in fact.

Visit a New York pet shop and you will find it more like a high class boutique or deli. There seems to be no end to the excess you can attain for your pet. The shelves are stuffed with everything you didn’t realize your pooch needed. From exercise machines to cup cakes, these outfits are definitely more than the bowl, brush, lead, chewy and tin opener outfits I’m used to. Some even have fancy dress departments. You will also notice, amongst the rhinestone collars and pet coats, an extensive range of travel luggage. Yes, travel luggage.

New York has very strict rules regarding pets in public buildings. Pets aren’t allowed in most apartment buildings and they certainly aren’t allowed in public or office buildings! Most restaurants have prominent signs stating “No Dogs”. But nobody appears to care. The lease we signed on our apartment stated quite clearly that the keeping of pets would be grounds for termination (of the lease that is, not the pet). Yet our concierge service offers a pet sitting service. Look closer at that luggage and you will notice all of it has breathable sides. Getting it yet? In New York small dogs don’t walk, they are carried! They travel incognito, hidden in suitcases and handbags, entering food establishments, office blocks, health centers and anywhere else their owners fancy, at will.

I personally believe a pet should be like a real fire, something you come home to. Unfortunately, in New York that kind of callous neglectful way of thinking doesn’t fly! How could you possibly leave your Chihuahua at home for hours on end with only the staff for company when he’s already dealing with the past life issues recently diagnosed by his doggy shrink! Not to mention the risk of his dietary requirements not being observed by the doggy sitter! No, you couldn’t possibly abandon your dog! If you love your pet, they should never leave your side; else they run off with the dog sitter, nanny, maid or a passing handsome squirrel.

My first experience of the dog gods was at a recruitment agency off Union Square. As a prospective new client, I was expecting to be greeted with a cup of coffee, the company ethos recanted verbatim and a false, yet comforting smile. What I got was a Puggle, a cross between a Beagle and a Pug for the uninitiated, who, after calmly trotting in, wandered across the reception, viewed me suspiciously before clamping his jaw firmly around my portfolio and beginning to tug, hard. He was rewarded by his owner (my recruiter) with a cookie!

That, unfortunately, is only the half of it. I have since had to work with the dog gods. In my midtown office of 60 to 70 people, there were, on a good day, about seven to ten miniature dogs of varying descriptions. That’s roughly one dog to 10 people. That’s better than the teachers to pupil ratio at most schools! They would prowl the corridors of the cube farm, hunting in packs looking for a squeaky toy or handbag to defile. They were everywhere! I would interrupt conference calls to apologize for their howling. I would carefully brush them aside in meetings in order to see my papers. I would try to ignore the smell of their “indiscretions”. When I did comment on their mess I was asked “what did you do to poor Tiddles, Pumpkin, David….” Yes, david. “You must have upset him, you horrible man”. I never complained as the dogs masters were my superiors and thus, the dogs were, in reality, my masters. I began to consider canineicide.

Wherever you walk in this city you will encounter someone walking an extremely small dog. On every street corner you can witness a proud owner watching admiringly as their little Chihuahua craps on the sidewalk. I have to say, the owners of these dogs are not exclusively Carrie Bradshaw types, although, generally, most have dogs that match their outfits.

Walking in the East Village the other day, I noticed a huge SUV replete with tinted windows and spinning hubcaps. It pulled up alongside me and from inside its cavernous interior stepped a huge black guy wearing more Bling than the Rockefeller Christmas tree. He stood on the sidewalk looking suitably disinterested before pulling gently on a leather lead. My first thought was dominatrix, but, of course, I was wrong. ‘Biggy’ leant inside the car and gently cradled something in his arms before depositing it ever so carefully on the sidewalk. It was a Pekingese sporting a fetching Diamante collar and leopardskin coat. I mean, what the F±*k ever happened to proper dogs; men’s dogs? Bill Sykes must be rolling in his grave. I’m thinking of buying myself a St Bernard, but I’m afraid I might forget it’s in my handbag and suffocate the poor thing.

58 Responses to “I HATE SMALL DOGS!!!”

  1. sean Says:

    HAHAHA i love this entry its fab, but i dont mind small dogs if they are kept nice and trainned and not treat like some play doll. people like paris hilton with dogs in their pags needs to relaise they aint for dogs but for cash!!

  2. ashley evans Says:

    awee it so cute i love it adorable

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Overgeneralize much?

    And you must have been a fucked up child to kick a dog just because it was chewing on a toy that YOU probably left lying on the floor.

    Ass.

  4. guerrillaligger Says:

    By your comments I would say you are a small dog appeaser! The dog bit me dude! Over generalize? Explain.

  5. Jamie Says:

    BRAVO!!!!! They’re not small dogs, they’re rats! My girlfriend has a little pussy ass dog(in my presence she must refer to it as a rat) that she dresses in shit and has a purse for (therefore making it more of a pussy ass rat) and i refuse to be seen in public with the thing. It’s embarrassing. The costume crap should be considered cruelty in my book and costume or not that thing is just useless. All it does is bark, cry and piss itself. Don’t get me wrong i love dogs…..real dogs. I had a lab and a golden growing up and now I want a shepherd…or anything large enough to eat or sit on the stupid little shit. If you’re going to get a dog do us all a favor and get a REAL dog, not somethings that looks like my dog could have shit it out!

    • ilona Says:

      very true, i’m a woman and i don’t like small dogs, their size is unnatural, they need to be dressed in coats during winter because they freeze, they yap all the time, they will attack anything that moves including much larger dogs, they are obnoxious, they tremble at the sight of strangers and they can not guard the property if you have a yard.
      i grew up with large dogs, mostly boarder collies and boxer dogs the kind of dog that bakes at strangers and they knew not to come near our yard to try and rob it, the kind of dog with brains that you could train and would listen to commands, the kind of dog that could live outside in a doggy house and the enclosed porch and be just fine.
      i had an ex who had a chihuahua it was nut crazy and hated my guts but he loved the thing, when it came time to discuss moving in together i told him to leave it at his parents house,yes he was 24 and still living at home with mummy and daddy, now i have a cat and he knew this going into the relationship but was demanding i give up me beloved quiet and affectionate cat in exchange for a crazy insane dog that looked like a drowned rat and would try to attack and bite me every time it saw me, needless to say i chose my cat…..best decision i have ever made, people with small dogs have deep seated mental issues and should seek mental health.

  6. Jamie Says:

    By the way i’m glad i’m not the only one who uses the term “man dog”. Ironic because I’m a chick…..and I still think that walking next to a small “dog” makes me look like a pussy, so it’s not an excuse.

  7. Richard Norris Says:

    Then you all should certainly check this site out. http://www.stupidlittledog.com/

  8. Marty Says:

    Ugh, I hate little fucking dogs. I love “real” dogs as everyone says, I have a boxer she is an old bitch lol. She’s 13. Anyway, I have had bad experiences with little dogs, my friend has a min pin, its the most annoying prick in the world. It excessively yelps and barks at EVERYONE! Forget trying to eat in their house, the dogs on your lap snapping at your mouth for food. Not exaggerating, but mostly its the owners fault for spoiling them, its not just small dogs but big dogs too. I’d prefer a big dog being a bitch than a smaller dog, somehow bigger dogs manage to be more of a bitch lol.

  9. Alex Says:

    I’m sorry, did I get you wrong? You hate small dogs because one chewed on your toy as a child.. and because of New Yorkers.

    Excuse me? When does that suddenly make you the guru of reasons to hate small dogs?

    And, excuse me again… NOT REAL DOGS? Oh, for pete’s sake! Not all small dogs are yappy, all dogs have the ability to crap on the pavement, and running over and getting tripped by big dogs is just as likely.

    Next time you base your judgements on what NYers are like, give yourself a boot up the ass.

    Like you did to that dog.

    Signed, lovingly,
    Alex. Owner of a miniature dachshund AND a greyhound.🙂

  10. Alex Says:

    Oh – for the record, most small dog owners DON’T dress up their dogs like they’re some real type of barbie doll.

  11. Rich Says:

    Alex, I don’t think he was making a reference to ALL New Yorkers, and ALL small dog owners. He is just stating his opinion of how a somewhat large majority do dress-up and treat small dogs like gods. Although big dog owners do it too. The way of dogs being treated like god is commercialized by celebs etc. That is how I take this article anyway, and I do like all dogs. However even big dogs can be annoying bitches just like little dogs, and big or as everyone is saying “REAL” dogs, can be treated like gods and dressed in outfits. I can recount two stories of equally bad dogs, who were treated with respect when they did something wrong. One was a big dog and one is a small dog. My cousin’s big dog would constantly nip people and to get him to “stop” they gave him a treat! He would nip everyone because he knew he’d get a treat. Smart but evil. They also dressed him up on holidays and on random days. The little dog also, in his case, he would stalk anyone for food and whatnot, the owners fed him table-food, not dog food. He was also a dressed dog. But if you want to hate someone, Hate the owners. They are the ones who teach their dogs to be “Bad” and they are the ones who dress them up and treat them like “gods.” Just my opinion.

    Owner of a Black Lab, Golden Retriever, and a Boxer.

  12. Rich Says:

    (That wasn’t all directed at you Alex by the way, haha.)

  13. Alex Says:

    HAHAHA, Disregard that I Suck Cocks.

  14. Rich Says:

    Nice try dude, real mature, your obviously not the real Alex. Everyone has a different sign beside there name, go to bed its way past bedtime.

  15. Alex Says:

    lol wut

  16. Tommy Lee Says:

    Interesting post.

  17. Bonnie Says:

    I agree! I utterly hate small dogs! They are notoriously hard to housebreak! I have to go over to my aunt’s house that reeks of urine! I think can she NOT smell this! Small dogs are not “real” dogs, they’re things that dogs may eat. Lets see, you shouldn’t have one at a dog park because they’ll yap high pitched and likely provoke a big dog to basically mangle it like a squeeky toy. These rotten small dogs are rarely trained appropriately. They YAP continuously! You can’t have them around kids. My lab is great around kids. Of course, my lab is a typical “real” dog who won’t yap like a dumbass and piss all over the house! I do hate little dogs, they’re as bad as cats. I cannot stand walking into anyone’s house that has cats, it usually smells rotten.

    • James Says:

      Brooklyn is plagued by dogs od all sizes. Most mutt lovers in Brooklyn are under some compulsion tom own at least two. Unfortunately, many nof Brooklyn’s filthy, inconsiderate dog lovers refuse tom pick up, ,or lick up, their mutts’ filth. That’s why you have to constantly watch where you walk. When i was a kid, there was a “curb your dog” law; meaning, make you mutt go in the gutter, not on the sidewalk. Now, even though you are supposed to pick it up, many of the filthy, lazy, rotten Brooklyn pigs that own mutts let their filthy, useless animals foul the sidewalk, then leave it there. What we need is a Dog DNA Database. Then, samples can be taken of dog crap, compared to the samples on file, and the filthy slob can pay a fine, and be put to work collecting samples of dog crap, as he/she cleans it up as community service. Summer is coming; and soon flocks of filthy flies will feast on Fido’s foul, infected feces.

  18. Scot R. Clemons Says:

    My last dog got ran over by a car and idk why but this post made me think of her:\

    • James Says:

      If you always keep your dog on a leash outside the house, then this won’t happen. Your dog, any dog, has less brains than Paris Hilton, or an American President. It might also be a good idea to keep your dog muzzled outside, so,it can’t bite anyone, and you end up being sued in civil court.

  19. Richard Says:

    TOY DOGS are from genetic mutations brought upon by years of dangerous inbreeding, some breeds are already born with defects, and the Chihuahua can’t even be born, because of it’s fat ass ugly alien head and has to be cut out. These fucking dogs, not even as big as my cats in most cases, are abominations of creatures. I avoid them like the plague in the street when I see some bastard with one, but they always stare at me then bark and lunge towards me, without provocation. Like most retarded humans, these stupid fucking toy dogs like to judge by appearance. Cats though, which I have, are known to be a good judge of character. They come to you, only if they sense you are a decent person. Toy dogs contribute nothing to society and when they misbehave it is thought of as “funny” because their shit for brains owners think it is cute and harmless as the dog is small. They are a spit in the face to their ancestors, the wolf, all because of dumb human controlled in-breeding. These pieces of shits are aggressive, noisy, badly behaved, shit and piss all the time, look utterly pathetic, spineless and pointless. May we all see sense and perform a mass culling of these miserable yappy POS rats one day.

  20. Wanda Says:

    I’ve thought about getting a small dog, but I’ve decided I’m a big dog person. My first dog as an adult was a big, beautiful Collie. I’ve also had chow mixes. A friend of mine wants to give a small dog away, i took it for a couple days, we just don’t connect. it will be better off with my friend. it has already bonded with her other little dogs.

  21. Heather Says:

    I hate small dogs too. My mom and I got one when I was 6 back in 2002. She treats the thing better then me. She would always say that I’m jealous of it. Uhhh, I’m not, it’s just a royal pain in the ass while your trying to eat and the dog keeps growling at you and snapping at you because your to close to her while she’s eating. She’s a chihuahua. I totally agree with you. I hate small dogs, I even hate the big ones. If fact I hate all dogs and if I could delete one animal from this world I would get rid of the dog, for good.

  22. Wanda Says:

    I hate small dogs too! God, they’re pathetic!

  23. Armand Mistress Komara Says:

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  24. Socorro Perey Says:

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  25. Matthew Thomas Says:

    You sick fuck, you kicked a dog because it chewed your toy?
    My opinion:
    1. You should never have kids.
    2. Grow the fuck up.
    3. Jack Russel’s (from my experience) can get nasty IF you tease them, you probably tried taking the toy from it and it got over excited.
    4. People do treat their dogs as real people, yeah I think they’re messed in the head too only if you’re talking about the type who lets their dogs have a seat on a bus.

    Now go lock yourself in a basement.

    • guerrillaligger Says:

      Don’t worry Matthew, no dogs were harmed during the writing of this post.
      Just to comment on you believing me to be a “sick fuck”, I was seven and was trying my best to “grow the fuck up” as you so charmingly put it. I hope you don’t condemn all kids who kick dogs to a lifetime spent locked in your basement? Anyway, glad you enjoyed the post.

  26. Brad Murphrey Says:

    Super ,this post is something really worth to read … so its strongly adviced , thank you!

  27. ioy8 Says:

    I dislike (well to be honest HATE) dogs in general. Smelly, annoying,shit where I please (barking types,destructive especially – such as labs)

    Now I hate the little ones 100x more. They all have a serious self image problem. They attack you, never shut the fuck up and at the same time with their I’m dog hear me roar mentality- I could pop their beady little eyes out of their apple sized skull with my big toe.

    Nothing worse than something that treats you like you are beneath them somehow when in fact they are about as low as it gets. I hate their owners even more. If it wasn’t for the spoiling and wtf feelings they have for these mini fuhrer’s these things would be snatched up and made a meal out of (like it should be!) by a owl,large rat, or (pleasingly) a cat family member.

    I don’t hate pets. Birds,fish,cats,reptiles, jellyfish, ferret, squirrell, komodo dragon, whatever – all ok in my book when the owner takes care of them and keeps them quiet on their own property.

    why I hate dogs is there is this social acceptance of oh he can shit on your storefront,terrorize your child, and bark all hours of the night – iz ok just an animal.

    i wonder if people would be so kindly if I put a bull on a leash let him shit all over the place and impale your small dog or child? I mean he is just an animal.

    I wish everyone would just smarten up and get a cat. They clean themselves, bury their own poop, are very quiet and rid your house and yard of insects,mice,rats, (anything smaller than them). My cat even brings me bird heads, rabbits feet and all sorts of bloody sacrifices on the steps of the bloody altar as I call it.

    Does your pet worship you as a deity with pagan rituals? Then you need a cat🙂 (and let me tell you being a deity is somewhat entertaining)

    If you people insist on keeping best friends who share your own values (I shit where I please, attack who I please, and make all the noise I want because I’m me and me is all there is) at the very least compromise on the noise issue. Get a non barking breed such as a besinjee thing or take the thing to a vet and have him slit his throat professionally to either silence him or …silence him. either choice is acceptable.

  28. Jihae Says:

    I hate small dogs too. They never stop yapping… my bf has a maltipom and I can’t even take my dogs over there anymore because that dumb piece of shit can’t stop yapping and growling at my dogs. I have a sheltie and a border collie, both very loving and gentle. My dogs don’t even go near the damn thing, but the thing gets yappy and snappy. I literally had to push it away from my dogs. My dogs in the other hand would just stand there and stare blankly while the little shit goes ape shit. And the thing that pisses me off even more is that my bf’s parents do nothing about it. I refuse to go over there house with my dogs now.

  29. Rosey Says:

    So many dead on points here. Until recently I was pretty indifferent to small dog breeds- didn’t really despise as there had not been a reason to but that all changed this last summer. I spent some time with a GUY who has the emotionally whacked issues (he hid them early on as most people tend to) and I ended up injured and down about $500 as a result of his obsession with his long haired chihuahua. Incredibly indignant in terms of thinking his dog should be everywhere he is. I was prepared to explain to restaurant servers or movie theater staff that yes, my friend has a small dog in that satchel but we don’t talk about it in front of him as it is a service dog for the emotionally unstable…

    I am a big advocate for humane treatment of all domestic animals even with this experience. However, this particular dog has it’s paw on the pent up fury I began experiencing after injuring myself chasing her as her owner refuses to use a leash. I hate this specific creature and now wish I had taken the opportunity to toss her down some stairs when her “daddy” wasn’t around. Yes, I realize it isn’t really the animal but the owner however that is likely the only way a message could have gotten through to this guy. Hope I never see either one again as I cannot say for sure I wouldn’t be able to contain my hate for both. But I know it would all be geared towards that nasty little gurgling duck fuck of a pseudo dog.

  30. Soap Dispenser Says:

    you should always be careful with recruitment agencies because some of them are just scammers ~:’

  31. Scott Says:

    This is a nice piece of writing. Little dogs SUCK, I HATE THEM.

    Now to be fair, many little dogs are the way they are because of their owners. When a real dog (“big” dog) barks at strangers or acts crazy, the owners realize this is bad behavior and correct it.

    However, for 95% of all the idiots out there with small white fluffy rats/dogs, its cute or acceptable for your dog to bark for no reason or lunge at strangers.

    I have a German Shepherd, Gunner, and he is well a trained dog. Sometimes at the park or on a walk, a little dog will try to start shit with Gunner, they will go up barking a big game and trying to bite his ankles. Gunner is a good dog, and he just ignores the little shits. If he acted like the little white dogs did, then there would be a lot of crying little bitches out there with dogs torn to shreds.

    Long story short. Little dogs suck and a large reason is because 95% of the people who buy these dogs for $2,000 don’t know how to fucking have a dog, then again that’s probably because they just bought a “cute” little toy, so why would they treat it like a dog…

    • Ron Says:

      Very true, I cannot stand little dogs, they are nothing more than squirrels that forgot how to climb a tree and piss submissively all over themselves when approached. The little genetic underlings should be culled from the ranks of canine-dom. It is exactly the mentally underdeveloped or unstable that bred these little dried up turds to begin with and those that still carry them around in little purses. Beware these people! And never buy a little yap shit of a dog to support the diseased little doggie culture!
      Send!

  32. DC Says:

    Haha. I just found this article by searching on google for “i hate little dogs”.

    Funny, reading comments about how others hate them as much as I do ALMOST makes me hate them less, because I am laughing my ass off at these comments! Nah….who am I kidding?

    Yeah, they are truly abominations. They aren’t like primitive dogs (like a KBD), or even working dogs (like a Border Collie.) Jack-Russells and Dachshunds, little-dog-lovers may argue are workers. Fine. You ever have a yappy, annoying, insecure co-worker? Exactly.

    Pomeranians, Yorkies, Corgis, Pugs, Boston Terriers (bug-eyed bastards), all of them–fur before function.

    I hope my big-dog impales your little dog when it humps it. I will then reward my big-dog with a treat, and admonish you little-dog-owners for not accessorizing your little-dog with a miniature can of mace.

    Yaaaay!

  33. Tilly Says:

    Hilarious!!!!!!!! I’m one who loves REAL dogs aka those that aren’t so darn small that they equate to prey. Small dogs are genetic freaks that usually end up so spoiled that they fail in every way. They tend to be aggressive, piss and crap all over one’s house, and are at chronic risk of being chewed to bits by every other dog that these little crappers think is ok to fight. The people that keep them? I can’t imagine why these people won’t train them, won’t insist on housebreaking, and let them yak and yak. Worse, these idiots take these micro-dogs to dog parks and think it’s ok to let these prey sized things interact with other dogs (bad idea!). I suppose I really hate THE DUMB OWNER more than the dog. Don’t get me started on the IDIOTS that keep TERRIERS!!!! and let them freewheel around without limits – these dingy dogs are TERRORS! very aggressive, need jobs, and do indeed bite.

    Don’t get me started on my dislike of Beagles!!!! These dogs are meant to be in kennels imo – they do only one thing well – Track smell, that’s it! The rest of the time? They’re stubborn, bark and bark, and generally put themselves in risky situations.

    Labs? I LOVE THEM! But, your really must walk a lab!
    Border Collies? Don’t get one unless you give it a JOB!
    GSD’s? Wonderful, but sensitive and require competent care/training

    LOL, I can’t believe I’m complaining! It’s not the dog, really! It’s the STUPID OWNER that creates a stupid dog by not being responsible for their dog in public.

    If people would take consideration of others – keep up after your dog in public, that would really be great!

  34. Tilly Says:

    In response to the person that suggests dog folks get a stinking cat?
    NO NO NO HELL NO HELL NO HELL NO
    Why?
    Cats are even WORSE than a small dog inside a house!
    Cats vomit and spray urine!
    Cats RUIN wood floors, walls, your couch, and possibly become your neighbor’s enemy by using their garden as the litter box.

    Don’t get me started on how FILTHY it is to keep a stinking littler box inside a house!

    Most cats will walk from said litter box into your kitchen and jump onto your counters with poopy paws.

    No no no! Cats are not clean at all….they’re actually rather filthy creatures. I have enough evidence from friends who own real estate they lease out. They’ve had to deal with the aftermath of of what was left behind from cats on the premises. It is expensive to replace wood flooring, carpeting, and dry wall due to cat spray! It is nearly impossible to remove the odor unless you remove the material that’s been saturated with urine. So, cats are NOT clean! Not at all. Given the choice, I’d prefer people have small dogs! At least, a small dog won’t spray urine like a cat.

  35. Tilly Says:

    I totally disagree with the commenter that said they hate labs. You must be kidding! Okay, I made my rant on cats, but even I don’t hate cats. I hate their owners that won’t realize that having a cat means you have some serious pet management (aka – cleaning!) to attend to every day keep things somewhat clean!

    Really, you don’t hate the dog – you’ve written complaints that speak of bad management from the owner of the dog. Trust me, it’s a people problem, not a dog problem that’s at the bottom of all of this hate.

    People are just not taking consideration to keep their dogs groomed, trained to be well mannered in public, and under control. It’s people who aren’t grooming their pets. If a dog has healthy skin, it shouldn’t smell at all if the person regularly grooms the dog. Believe me, people stink! but with decent grooming, dogs don’t stink as foul as humans! God, my Lab smells fantastic by comparison to people whom I wish would please shower daily and use deodorant!

  36. GotMax Says:

    I try not to be opinionated about dogs but… Come on let’s face it lol, little dogs are fucking insane. I hate when people say, “Ohhh it’s my baby it’s just a baby, blahh blahh fuckin bull shit.” I personally have always LOVED big dogs. =3 I have my Dane, Rottweiler, and Giant Pit Bull to prove it. I had an incident where a little rat dog came barreling down the sidewalk and attacked my rottweiler. I, of course, picked the rat dog up by its scruff and shucked it away. The owner then comes SCREAMING at me saying how she will sue me for my dogs attacking her “baby.” LOL she never did obviously because my dog did not in fact harm the little piece of shit… But proof comes to show that little dogs AND their owners are equally………….. insane. Lol i hate being repetitive but I can’t find any other words to describe them

  37. Leo Charre Says:

    Thank you so much for your story, it is beautiful. Thank you for writing and sharing!

  38. Ben Says:

    I hate small dogs too!! They are nothing but little turd annoyances. The owners that live above me let him run around like a horse at a race track. I’ve had to knock on their door at 3:00 A.M. in the morning when the little turd was running in the bedroom above mine. I’ve had to take a broom stick and bang it on the ceiling because of the owners lack of respect for my peace and quiet. Sometimes I could hear one of the co-owners laughing like a stoner, probably rolling a ball back and forth across all the rooms, while the dog would chase it. This also would be going on in the early mornings waking me up. I have to sleep wearing earplugs. I have had visions of going up and taking the dog (when I see them walking him outside) and punting him like a football as hard as I can!

    Thank you for this blog, it’s been very therapeutic for me.

  39. Chas Says:

    Thanks for this wonderful blog. I’m on the far west (LA) and these damn little things yap 24-7. I didn’t know about the Darwinian connection –very interesting. I would like a law passed that any dog in Los Angeles County belonging to a species weighing less than an average of 10 pounds must either have its vocal cords and teeth surgically removed or be genetically engineered as such.

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  45. zozopaw Says:

    I like all small dogs except for probably about 5 of them being:
    1. yorkies
    2. shih tuz
    3. Maltese
    4. Bichion frise
    5. cavilier king charles spaniel..

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  47. vanessa Says:

    you do know that Carrie Bradshaw never owned a dog in her life except she did take of her boyfriends dog once and he was not at all a small dog breed- in fact she hates dogs
    anyway i have a small dog- havanese
    i don’t like dogs much but he doesn’t bark and he isn’t yappy nor do we dress him up

  48. Rose Says:

    I just moved to a neighborhood where some guy lets both his stupid small dogs pee and shit on the edge of my lawn while he is out walking them. I am looking for something I can put on the lawn that will ward those two little shits off. Not looking to kill them or poison, just keep them away from my property. They can go piss on their own property four doors down.

  49. sweater keren Says:

    Thanks for finally talking about >I HATE SMALL DOGS!!!
    | Guerrillaligger <Loved it!

  50. M Says:

    Me too. Hate those rats. Their owners are just disgusting

  51. M Says:

    One more thing: RANT

    I can’t stand these ugly pathetic disgusting FUCKING SHITASSES. They look like MUTANT RATS. They deserve to be killed. Their idiot owners treat them like fucking children. My mom loves this stupid ass ratty mini poodle more than me!!!! You think that RAT is a dog?! I look at idiots walking these abominations and think: how pathetic!

    Why do I hate them. Here are my top 10 reasons

    5: THERE FAKE. Sometimes even smaller than cats. The ugly mini poodle my mom forced us to get is TERRIFIED of cats. And then you look at a Rottweiler chasing a cat like a boss. Pathetic

    4: THEY HAVE NO PURPOSE. Ever seen a chihuahua pull a sled? A Pomeranian helping the police? A shit tzu helping the blind? No no no! They were bred for nothing. They do nothing. Those are all things for the proper big dogs

    3: THEIR FUCKING HIGH ASS WHINING IS ANNOYING AS HELL. Yes. My pathetic mini poodle will literally whine like a baby, cry and yap. They think their real dogs? What a pity. I like a dog with a nice strong bark, not that obnoxious “YAP! YAP! YAP!”

    2: THEY ARE BASICALLY CATS. Yes. So weak they will probably drown in 1 foot of water. And when I actually do see a little dog swimming in a FUCKING POOL I laugh. When a burglar breaks into your house they will more likely be kicked across the room than actually attack the intruder. See? They will probably not be able to continue playing fetch for less than five minutes. Maybe they can’t even walk. FUCKING DISGUSTING

    1: THEY ARE BORING
    No rough play, short walks only, no beaches. You pretty much can’t do AMYTHING with them. If you die, they just walk eat you, not giving ONE THOUGHT about their shitty owners

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