Lucky B*$±^?D

So, I’m now in Australia! I don’t know what lucky star I was born under, but it’s enough to make me believe in Astrology! I’ve swapped Victoria Park, in the East End of London for Victoria Market, in the north of Melbourne and Of course, it was nothing to do with me! As usual, it’s all down to my wonderful wife!

Carol has been seconded to her companies Melbourne office and I, out of the goodness of my heart have agreed to accompany her. 100 years ago, a little misappropriation and I could have made it here on my own, but not now! Now, John Howard (member of the coalition of the willing, purveyor of common sense politics otherwise known as racism and working class denier) demands that you take an Australian test to prove you understand Australian values and are worthy of entry! Anyone remember Norman Tebbit and his cricket test?

Australian Test:

Question 1. Do you like sport?

Question 2. Tooheys or Victoria Bitter?

After working a drab, underpaid and non-challenging job for the last few months I was more than ready for a break. I had however, no Idea my next break would be so good and so sudden! I have gone from working on two jobs, to doing sweet nothing in the sunshine in the blink of an eye.

I have now got the time and the space to write. In fact, I even have a balcony overlooking the city where I can sit and ponder my next irreverent rant. Coming from London, outside space is a whole new concept, as is living in a serviced apartment, having a cleaner and the permanently good weather. Oh, and there’s the food! Victoria Market is a farmers market on steroids. There is stall after stall of the most amazingly fresh colourful produce! It’s a noisy bustling place that oozes character and life. Oh, and there’s the Kangaroo meat too; beautifuly rich and gamey with no cholesterol! (unfortunately, an issue for a man of my age) Although, I worry that eating Kangaroo could result in a crime going unsolved and unpunished somewhere in the Waratah National Park!

Sooo cute, yet soooo tasty!
Sooo cute, yet soooooo tasty

So I’ll say g’day, as I’m off to throw another Shrimp on the barbie and crack me a cold Carlton! Australia, where do I sign up!

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