Cure for Psoriasis

I have had psoriasis for as long as I can remember. I developed it some time in my early twenties and have lived with the ritual of creams, lotions and balms for so long the applications seem as much a part of my life as cleaning my teeth. I am not thrilled about having psoriasis, but in the great scheme of things it seemed like a small burden to bear. Unlike excema, psoriasis doesn’t generally irritate or weep and although the creams and lotions are annoying, they have managed to arrest the condition keeping it  from developing into something akin to the singing detective.  

Psoriasis is however, mentally debilitating. The batting away of crass, awkward remarks from friends and constant shaking of the shirt to remove flakes can undermine your confidence. After all, we all suffer from vanity in varying degrees. Just like port wine stains and birth marks, psoriasis is an ugly badge you would rather take off.

Like most psoriasis sufferers, I have endured every cream and lotion known to man. Many is the night I have gone to bed oiled up like a long distance swimmer, covered from head to toe in coal tar and steroid cream. I have also tried to tackle the condition through diet and supplements. Evening primrose oil, olive oil, cod liver oil, vitamin E, etc. I dropped dairy, cut out wheat, stopped drinking coffee; Hell, I even tried giving up drinking. No matter how conscientious I was,  nothing seemed to change. My psoriasis would still come and go regardless of any diet or lifestyle changes I made. Then, a month ago, I started adding flax to my diet. Being a man of a certain age I have, like the rest of the population over forty, a cholesterol problem. Flax is apparently “one of the most powerful cholesterol controllers yet discovered” and for this reason I  started adding it to my granola. 

Flax is a rich source of alpha linolenic acid, the plant version of omega 3. The oil in flax seed is 50%  alpha linolenic acid. Canola or walnut oil, the next best sources  have only 10%. This super injection of omega 3 has hopefully lowered my cholesterol, but one much more noticeable result of this minor dietary change can be seen in my skin. Taking two tablespoons of flax every day has cured my psoriasis.  

My skin is noticeably healthier. I have no scaly patches whatsoever. I’ve even stopped dusting my shoulders. All this in under four weeks. Even if this cure is unique to me, which I doubt, adding flax to any diet is so easy It must be worth a try. If you have psoriasis I implore you to try this. Adding a little flax to your cereal is a lot easier than rubbing yourself down with coal tar or steroid creams and if nothing else, it will lower your cholesterol and increase your fiber intake. As you can probably gather, I am now a keen advocate of the ‘miracle food’ flax. I am such a fan that if you know me, you may be getting a packet this Christmas!

Adventures in Advertising.

So, my adventures in advertising continue apace. I am now at a new company working exclusively for the spirits industry. No, I’m not working in an off license, I’m working for a marketing company writing slogans, taglines, body copy etc. for a major spirits manufacturer. I write anything and everything that encourages Americans to up their consumption of Alcohol! And to think, my grandfather was a member of the temperance society.

Anybody who knows me will probably assume this is the ideal job for someone with my experience in hard liquor. After all, I have the guilty pleasure of selling one of my favorite indulgencies to the general public on a daily basis. Each day I come up with inventive ways of communicating brand message to retailers, wholesalers and customers. The job can be serious fun and seriously challenging in equal measure, pardon the pun.

However, my greatest challenge is overcoming the linguistic differences between the American and British markets. My pithy little gems are quite often met with blank stares and comments like “I’m not sure whether that’s even a word dude”. Pointing out the word is in the American dictionary doesn’t seem to help.

I am also faced with the challenge of getting my genius past legal. As the drinks industry has taken to self-regulation in an attempt to avoid the restrictions befalling the tobacco industry, anything suggesting drinking alcohol has to be avoided. This makes my job challenging to say the least.

I recently had a suggestion rejected as the wording suggested, “getting loaded”. The words I chose were taken from their product name! And correct me if I’m wrong, but take away the intoxicating nature of alcohol and I think you may be looking at a shrinking market!

But heaven forbid you should ever offend anybody. Although I fully understand the need to take your customers feelings into account, the need to avoid offending them is often taken to comical extremes! As an example, the tagline, “Make Coffee Not War”, suggested for a fictitious political campaign by a major coffee manufacturer, was rejected as it may offend the pro war lobby. Presumably, the line would have turned coffee into a pussy peacenik’s drink!

I am forcing myself to think and write as an American. Unfortunately, my target audience is in the mid west, so I have to think like a specific type of American, the ones who hate people like me!

 

Every day I wonder if my employers are sick of my English vernacular. It’s very difficult to work out whether I’m doing fine or going down in flames. Whenever I am handed a pay check I wonder whether it will contain the deadly ‘Pink Slip’. I could very well be one faux Pas away from the exit door! Today I’m chatting about the Super-bowl in a sad attempt to ingratiate myself to my co-workers. I’m trying to work the phrase ‘go long’ , the only American football term I know, into everything I say and do! I won’t be using this phrase in my work however, as going long could infer over consumption!

On the upside, there are no dogs in the office.

Today is Repeal Day!

Finally, a non-denominational day of celebration I can both believe in and participate in, in equal, preferably large measure! Today is Repeal Day, which celebrates the repealing of the Volstead Act, or the 18th Amendment, (prohibition to you and I) on December 5th, 1933.

The act which outlawed the selling, purchase, production or distribution of alcohol, had been put in place thirteen years earlier due to the scaremongering and puritanical preachings of amongst others, The Women’s Christian Temperance Union. They, and their ilk believed alcohol was responsible for all of societies ills including crime, mental illness and poverty; rather similar to republican views on immigration now.

For thirteen years America tolerated the Eighteenth Amendment and the criminal fraternity were all to happy to step into the void.  They overran the traditional means of alcohol production and America experienced the fastest growth in organized crime in her history. Once again the Puritans were proved wrong and ironically, due to prohibition America’s alcoholic thirst actually increased.  What is it they say about forbidden  fruit.

So tonight buy some booze, it doesn’t matter what just make sure it’s alcoholic. By doing so you will be celebrating your constitutional rights and that has to be something worth drinking to! Well, that and proving another bunch of right wing zealots wrong.

http://www.repealday.org/

Pass the message on. We want this to be bigger than Christmas!

Baby Blues

Since finishing my last contract in October I have been a full time stay at home dad looking after Abigail, our five month old daughter. This has been, of course, a joy. But it was also, initially a huge culture shock. As much as I adore my daughter, and believe me I adore my daughter, being a full time dad/mum was a lot harder than I had ever anticipated. After a couple of weeks of feeding, changing, bathing, playing, feeding, changing, bathing, playing I was a) exhausted and b) stir crazy. I missed the workplace a lot more than I had ever anticipated. I never ever thought I would admit to missing a cube farm!
Obviously, having the traditional roles reversed, with my wife working and me parenting, was always going to be tricky. After all, whether we like it or not, nearly all facilities and support networks are designed with mothers, not fathers, in mind. Have you ever heard of a father and baby group? And try changing a nappy in a department store when all the facilities are in the ladies washrooms.
During those first weeks I eventually managed to let the stress dissipate and Abigail and I slowly became a formidable team. Where initially, getting out of the door would involve a full scale child meltdown and a half dressed dad stumbling down the street mumbling damn, I forgot my coat, socks, underwear……..again, within a few weeks we had a system down to pat and I could start to enjoy the luxury of having so much quality time with my daughter.
It is a sad state of affairs when the only way you can get to see your child’s development in those crucial early years is through a spell of forced unemployment. Note to America, even Afghanistan has maternity leave and in Sweden and Norway parents get 18 months paid leave, yes, paid leave to be split between both parents. That is truly progressive. Only America and Australia offer nothing to new parents.
I have now secured a new contract and will be starting at my new company on Monday. I am, of course happy to be getting back to work. But, in truth, my heart is breaking. I would give my high teeth to be able to stay home and help my daughter navigate her way through her early childhood. These last couple of months have been an absolute joy. I have witnessed her first smile, her first giggle and today she ate her first banana; well, a little bit of one anyway. Unfortunately, in the future she will be in bed by the time I get home and I will be back to only seeing her at the weekends. The idea of maternity leave, let alone paternity leave sadly isn’t on the agenda and unfortunately, the only social influence Sweden has on America comes in flat pack form from Ikea.

Better Dead than Red? Childbirth in America

In 2000, the World Health Organization ranked Americans’ overall health at 72nd among 191 member nations. Their five deaths per 1,000 births ratio ranks alongside Hungary, Malta, Poland and Slovakia. So maybe, with hindsight, it wasn’t the best time to move there with a pregnant wife! Before we arrived, the only concern I had was my wife’s due date being in early July. Obviously being British, I didn’t want my baby born on the fourth of July!  I soon realized that really was the least of my problems! I have chronicled our experience in this article.